


Blind Spots

by HeartsInJeopardy



Category: Fence (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Seiji cries, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 08:24:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13760115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartsInJeopardy/pseuds/HeartsInJeopardy
Summary: When an insult from Seiji cuts deep, Nicholas discovers he has more in common with his rival than he thought.





	Blind Spots

It seemed like nothing had gone right for Nicholas Cox that morning.

But then again, what else was new.

First, he woke up alone in his dorm room.

Normally, he would welcome waking up to find that Seiji Katayama had disappeared from the face of the earth.

But in this case, it just meant his roommate would be waiting in the fencing salle when he arrived that morning. Probably with a catty joke about sleeping in ready and waiting for him.

Of course, that turned out to be just the case.

“Were you fencing in your sleep Zero? I bet you could _almost_ beat me in your dreams.”

“Very original Seiji,” Nicholas said with a yawn.

Next, when Nicholas went to get the numbered target dummy from the gym lock-up, he found the heavy equipment was stashed behind a folded-up set of bleacher seats. Crawling through and dragging the heavy dummy and stand onto the floor had taken the better part of ten minutes.

And then, naturally, Nicholas spent the rest of his workout struggling to land a clean hit. Even when he was calling his own numbers, the point of his epee never managed to find its target.

As the next half hour wore on without any success, Nicholas felt his teeth grinding. It didn’t help that whenever he stole a glance at Seiji shadow fencing across the gym, the other boy looked like a textbook illustration of perfect technique.

 _One_ , he thought, _just let me land one hit so I can leave the gym feeling like anything but a complete failure. So I don’t embarrass myself in front of him again._

He leapt off his back leg in messy fleche out of sheer frustration before he could stop himself, flailing at the training dummy and managing to hit nothing but air before colliding with it. He fell back on the hard gym floor with a _thud_ that echoed through the huge room.

Sweating, exhausted, Nicholas forced himself to take slow, deep breaths while he lay on the floor.

He prayed Seiji hadn’t heard or seen that, but based on his day so far, he had probably been staring right at him. Still, when he heard Seiji walking across the salle towards him, Nicholas wished he could sink into the floorboards and disappear.

“Here’s some free advice, Zero: stop tripping over your own feet, and you won’t wreck your shoes.”

Nicholas was just getting to his feet again when Seiji threw out the insult. He glanced at his shoes before he could stop himself, realizing how stupid he looked. Of course he already knew what he would see down there.

A pair of dingy gray fencing shoes (no matter how many times he soaked them in cleaning product, they refused to turn white again) with black electrical tape holding the split heelcaps together.

Nicholas felt his face flush and his pulse quicken. He wanted to turn away from Seiji’s gloating brown eyes, but couldn’t help staring him down.

“I don’t need any advice from you,” he shot back. “And I didn’t wreck them either.”

“What, is the tape supposed to make them more aerodynamic?”

Seiji was flashing the small, wry smile that Nicholas had seen on his face after he trounced some helpless victim in practice.  Thinking that Seiji was treating this like a match made his blood boil.

“I didn’t wreck them because they were already like this. I bought them second-hand. But I’m guessing you wouldn’t know anything about that?”

Seiji’s smile vanished, but his eyes were still appraising Nicholas, trying to read him with the same shrewdness he showed in their match at regionals.

“In case you forgot, I made it into this school on scholarship because of my fencing skills,” Nicholas said. His anger was still rising, and he didn’t bother to control himself.

“Not because my parents could afford to pay for the tuition, books, and shiny white uniforms when I didn’t make it into Exton, like you.”

He jabbed a finger into Seiji’s chest as he finished. Nicholas was surprised to see the other boy had a pained expression on his face, and seemed like he wanted to say something.

But Nicholas wasn’t ready to back down yet.

“Here’s a piece of free advice for you, roomie: you don’t know the first thing about me or my life. About how hard I’ve worked to get here. How my equipment _looks_ is the last thing on my mind. And these busted old shoes are good enough to beat you, as long as I’m the one wearing them.”

He turned on his heel as he finished, leaving the training dummy in the middle of the room as he walked away. His pulse was still pounding like a bass drum in his ears.

On the way to the locker room, from the corner of his eye, he saw Seiji frozen in place in the middle of the room. He was watching him leave in silence.

Nicholas slammed the locker room door behind him without looking back again.

*******

It was late when Nicholas arrived back at Castello dorm, and the floor was quiet (or as quiet as the boys at Kings Row ever were) as everyone was preparing for curfew.

After class and dinner, Nicholas had snuck in a few extra hours of practice with Bobby. They both needed as much practice as they could get, if they wanted to make the team.

By now his arms felt like rubber, but at least he had made some progress today, after embarrassing himself this morning.

He braced himself for another round of verbal sparring with Seiji as he opened the door to his room, and felt relieved when he saw his roommate had pulled the shower curtain barrier around his bed.

 _Maybe he’s trying to get some sleep_ , Nicholas hoped. _Maybe he’s not even here_.

“Nick? Is that you?” Seiji asked from behind the curtain. His voice sounded hoarse, like he had caught a cold since this morning.

 _So much for avoiding him tonight_ , Nicholas thought, _but of course my perfect day wouldn’t be complete without more Seiji to cheer me up before bed_.

“No, it’s Bobby,” Nicholas deadpanned, sitting on his bed and pulling off his sneakers.

“I couldn’t resist my burning lust for you any longer, so I stole the key to your room from Nick.”

Seiji stepped out from behind the duck curtain, rubbing his eyes with both hands. Nicholas noticed he was still wearing his school uniform. When Seiji pulled his hands away from his face, he saw that his roommate’s eyes were visibly red and watery.

Nicholas suddenly realized what he had walked in on, and felt like he was trespassing in his own dorm room.

Before he could sputter any words out, Seiji asked, “Can we talk?”

“Of course,” Nicholas managed, feeling like he was in shock. He rushed to pull dirty socks and his gym bag off his bed as Seiji walked to his side of the room. He sat down beside Nicholas, staring into space facing the far wall.

Nicholas searched the other boy’s face for some kind of sign, but it was totally blank. He had never seen Seiji so upset, and he somehow seemed to look much younger than he usually did.

“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea…” Seiji began. He paused for what felt like a lifetime, and Nicholas could feel his eyes widen as he tried to guess what his roommate was about to say.

“… I don’t feel bad for beating you at the regional tournament, so don’t think I feel sorry for you.”

“Oh.” Nicholas said, trying not to sound as annoyed as he felt. Now he wasn’t so sure how he wanted to have this heart-to-heart after all.

Seiji collected himself again before he continued, sounding like he was on the verge of more tears.

“What I wanted to tell you is, even though I knew you were a scholarship kid, I never really thought about what that meant. And even though I never told you, you really impressed me in our match.”

Seiji was staring at his own hands as he spoke. Nicholas thought he seemed exhausted.

“I can’t say my family ever struggled to buy me equipment, or uniforms, or anything like that,” Seiji continued. “And I’m sorry for picking on you because of it. I know that was wrong.”

Nicholas smiled in spite of himself. He couldn’t believe the fencer with a heart of steel was getting all sad and weepy over _one_ little insult. “It’s no big dea-“

“It is a big deal,” Seiji cut in, “and don’t say it isn’t. I know you had to work really hard to get into Kings Row. That’s one of the things I respect about you.”

 _One of the things?_ Nicholas thought. _I wonder what else he means._ _I know he doesn’t appreciate my sense of humor_.

“But I need you to know, that I can relate…” Seiji’s words trailed off again. He buried his face in his hands, and Nicholas saw new tears trailing down his face.

Hesitantly, Nicholas reached his hand out to the other boy’s back. Seiji seemed to tense up the moment Nicholas’ fingers brushed his shoulder, but he relaxed quickly. Nicholas rubbed his hand in a slow circle, and Seiji seemed to respond to his touch.

It was Nicholas’ quiet way of saying, “Take your time, I’m here,” and Seiji was calm again in a moment.

“I’m trying to say… I don’t know what it’s like to have to scrape and save every penny to keep fencing. I couldn’t imagine that. But when I see you working on your technique for hours, or practicing your stance in the mirror when you think I’m sleeping…”

They both smiled at that. _I guess I was noisier than I realized_ , Nicholas thought to himself.

“… I feel like I see myself in you. Because for years now, it seems like all I’ve done is work nonstop to achieve my dreams. But I just keep falling flat.”

Seiji was wiping tears from his eyes again as they streamed down his face, but he also seemed more calm.  

“You can tell me if that’s a rude thing to say.”

“No,” Nicholas shook his head, “I can definitely relate.” _You should know,_ he thought, _you’re the one who beat me_.

“And I feel like you’re the only person at this school who might understand… but maybe I’m just imagining things.”

“No, no,” Nicholas assured him. He had both hands on Seiji’s shoulders now, trying to soothe him. If he took a moment to think about what was happening, he might have been shocked by how close they had become in just a few minutes.

But he was focused on reassuring his roommate, and nothing else.

“I understand completely. Or – at least I hope I do. It’s like…” The atmosphere in the room was tense as Nicholas reflected, trying to think of something to say that wouldn’t embarrass them both.

It was taking too long. The awkwardness of the entire situation was slowly dawning on them both. Seiji was looking over at him expectantly. Finally, Nicholas acted out of desperation – out of pure instinct.

He took Seiji’s right hand in his left hand, intertwining their fingers. Surprisingly, Seiji didn’t pull back. He just stared at Nicholas, obviously stunned, waiting for an explanation.

Nicholas looked down at their clasped hands. He could hardly believe what was happening himself. _This morning we’re ready to tear each other apart_ , his racing mind thought, _and now…I don’t even know what this is_. _What am I doing?_

Then something dawned on him.

Nicholas could feel that Seiji’s fencing hand and his own were calloused in almost exactly the same way.

The same parts had been worn smooth or coarse by hours of gruelling training, repeating the same jabs, parries and blocks with a sword in hand until their muscles ached.

In an instant, he could sense that Seiji had been through everything he had. The triumphs and the disappointments, the thrilling victories and the heartbreaking losses that made up a fencer’s career. The conflicted and painful feelings that had burned in Nicholas for years, and that he felt like no one else could understand.

And now he knew that Seiji could feel them too. That he could sense the same connection that he did.

“Sometimes,” he said, finally meeting Seiji’s deep brown eyes, “we can be our own harshest critics. And we’re just dying inside for someone to tell us, ‘You’re good enough. I’m proud of you.’ And you should know that you are. And I am. ”

Nicholas expected Seiji to start crying again, or to turn away.

He was surprised when a smile spread across his face instead. A warm, open smile, nothing like the mean grin he had showed Nicholas in the gym that morning.

Slowly, almost cautiously, he laid his head down on Nicholas’ shoulder.

“Thank you Nick,” he said, giving his hand a squeeze.

“It’s no problem,” Nicholas said, trying not to let the boy holding his hand know how stunned he felt. Although he was sure his heart hammering in his chest was a dead giveaway.

“Can we stay like this a little longer?” Seiji asked.

“Yes, of course.”

*****

“Alright, grab your water bottles and take five,” Coach Williams shouted, blowing a long note on her whistle.

The salle was packed for full team practice, and the boys gratefully broke away from their pistes to sit in groups on the bleachers and recuperate.

Nicholas was listening to Bobby and Dante as they struggled to describe the movie they had watched the night before (“There were aliens in it, except they looked like squids, and ‘that guy’ from _The Avengers_ was in it, you know the one.”)

Nicholas was zoning out when a sharp tap on his head from Tanner’s epee captured his attention. He jumped to his feet, hands balled into fists at his sides

“Settle a bet for me,” the ginger-haired upperclassman said with a sneer. “Did you buy those shoes at the dollar store, or did they come free in a cereal box?”

A few of the other students laughed along with Tanner, but most kept quiet, turning to watch Nicholas for his reaction. He was gearing up for one – either an insult or a punch, whichever came to mind first – when an epee from the crowd jabbed Tanner in the chest.

Murmuring students backed away, revealing Seiji, staring at the boy with the intensity that all his former opponents recognized. Nicholas thought he saw Tanner shudder as he rubbed the sore spot on his chest.

“I wouldn’t be so quick to toss out insults. If I remember correctly, even Zero here made a fool of you during sparring at last practice.” A corner of Seiji’s mouth lifted up into a smirk.

He walked away from the crowd as quickly as he made his entrance, leaving Tanner stunned and the other boys giggling.

Almost no one looked back at Nicholas as the coach blew her whistle to start practice again. But Bobby recognized the look on his face as he picked up his mask and hurried to join his rival on the floor.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this was my first time writing fan fiction *ever* so I would love any feedback.
> 
> NB: This story was finished after reading issue four, so details might be wrong if you're reading this story later.


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